Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
