ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
jump out the window naked night went bad
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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