I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
