Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
