Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
