i can't believe i had my finger in that
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love you. Go after that dick
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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