He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
