it hurts more in the daytime
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
