i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize