i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
