Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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