She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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