I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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