Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
