so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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