please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
