you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
