Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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