the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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