Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize