do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
