I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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