I'm really into asian looking animals
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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