I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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