actually, I'm a sock model
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
