she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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