Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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