All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
