I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
