That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
