The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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