This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
