still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
