Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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