There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
