Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
