so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
