I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize