Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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