We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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