So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
