In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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