You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
