i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
