on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize