There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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