I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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