also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this beer tastes like vomit already
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
