omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
