i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
