i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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