What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
