I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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