I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We have so much sex to catch up on
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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