oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
