Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
