Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize