im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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