So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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