I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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