Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
